My daughter, my teacher

She grew up quickly and even before I knew it she was 12 years old. It felt like yesterday when I had adopted a sweet little baby, christened her Sukila, spent sleepless nights trying to put her to sleep, held her hand on her first day to school, helped her with her baby homework. Now…, she has grown and time suddenly seemed to have moved very fast.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn’t notice her standing in front of me and staring at me with one of her eyebrows raised and a look that said, “Now what is it!”. I smiled sheepishly, well didn’t quite know how to react in such a situation. She has always been successful in catching me day dreaming.

“So, how was the day?” I asked her.

“We have a new boy in our class, Rishab, he looks kinda cute. I spoke with him; he stays 10 minutes from our house. His family moved in here last week.” she said with her eyes bubbling with energy. Well you need energy to finish all that in a single breath.

I gave her a taunting smile, “Hmmm… seems like somebody’s got a crush on someone.”

She replied shyly “Nothing like that.”

“So tell me more about this Rishab friend of yours…”

The journey back home was filled with Rishab. If I were to get a penny every time she said Rishab, I would have been rich by the time we reached home. After around 20 minutes of Rishab, she asked me about my lunch with Kirti. The question was no surprise; I always shared with her the details of the person I was dating.

“It was fine, she is smart, likes reading books and is nuts about cricket.”

“Hmmm… suits you, considering that you aren’t smart, don’t read and watch cricket only when it is last thing available on cable.”

I grinned. Well, to some extent she was right but then you shouldn’t accept it so easily.

“Pluh-lease, I will watch cricket only if it is the second last thing available on cable, you forgot the religious channels we have.”

“Ok second last, if it makes you happy. So… did u like her?”

“She was so so, I wouldn’t say great but then kinda boring, not really my type.”

“Are you going to call her?”

“I don’t think so, and… don’t ask me why.”

“Come on dad, at least this time give it a try.”

“Let’s see sweetie.”

The rest of the journey was filled with father-daughter gossips with topics ranging from politics to our neighbors. Back home it was the usual routine prepare dinner, watch some television and finally before bedtime take a walk around the block. Weekends were usually spent shopping, visiting family and friends. As much as I loved to sleep through a weekend it was always a distant dream, Sukila usually had some or the other stuff planned through the weekend and this weekend was no different. There was a sale at a nearby mall and her shopping list was already ready.

She wanted me to take Kirti along, but I was like ‘Naaah’. It irritated her the most that I never had any stable relationship. Well I couldn’t help it none of the women I dated ever matched my frequency, there was something or the other I didn’t like about them. Kirti was good but then we didn’t have any common interests.

Anyways it was weekend and time for shopping. At the mall I usually spent my time in the jazz club while Sukila shopped with her friends with her pre-fixed amount of money. At around 5 received a call on my mobile informing me the end of her shopping spree. I came out to the car park and saw her talking to a boy. Something told me that I am about to be introduced to Rishab and I was right. After the short round of introduction, I did my own enquiries to learn about the boy who had impressed my sweetie. As Sukila had mentioned, he lived two blocks away from our house. And then there were details about his family and other stuff and so on. Well… the father and the boy-on-whom-my-daughter-is-having-a-crush conversation ended without much of an exciting climax.

We got in our car; something told me the topic would be Rishab and it was. And then there was the much expected question “So, what do you think about him?”

I was like, “Well, he is okay and smart.” That’s the best I could come up with. And between conversations something unexpected propped up.

“Dad…hmmmm… well… Rishab asked me out for a movie tomorrow, what do you say?” That was something I was not prepared for, it was quite a shock and my instant reaction was “NO”.

The rest of the journey was silent, no sound except the drone of the engine. Back home the scene was same, like that of old movies with no dialogues. I made dinner while she was in her room. I made the dinner table and called out for her. There was no answer, so I went to her room. I knocked and entered the room and there she was busy reading. I went up to her, gently took the book from her hand, placed it aside, pulled up a chair and sat beside her. She looked depressed and that did make me feel real bad.

“I am sorry but…” she stopped me, looked into my eyes and said, “You don’t have to explain, dad, I understand. Let’s have dinner before its cold.” She said with a smile… a forced smile.

The dinner was quiet and quick. I dropped the dishes in the dishwasher and came out ready for our night walk; Sukila was waiting outside.

As we were walking, “Dad, have you ever fallen in love?” Sukila asked.

That was the second surprise question for today. “No”, I answered.

“Do you know how it feels to be in love?”

Third question! “Well, I would answer that as no.”

“Well, then I can’t explain to you how I felt when Rishab asked me out cause you wouldn’t understand”.

I sighed, well she did speak wisdom. I realized that I had broken her heart when I said ‘No’. But as she said, I had no idea how much pain she felt. I never fell in love with someone because I didn’t want to get myself hurt. But now I feel I missed one of the most wonderful emotions in life. I was still in my thought process when she interrupted me.

“Dad, I don’t want to go to the movie with Rishab, I understand your anxiety. See I am a grown up girl now.” She looked at me and smiled.

“I need time to think my dear, I don’t know anything about this guy and I can’t just let you go on a movie with him. Well, frankly speaking I am not yet ready for that phase.

She seemed to understand what I wanted to say. I hated silence so I asked “So, how does it feel to be in love?”

“Well dad, the answer to that question cannot be explained, it has to be felt. Maybe you should stop fearing and try to experience it.”

“I don’t fear it my dear, I just never could get myself to fall in love.”

“That’s because dad, you never tried… you avoided it…”

I didn’t know what to speak further. By then we had reached home, I tucked her in, gave her a good night kiss.

“Know what sweetie, I think I will give it a try.”

She smiled back, gave me a wink and said, “Way to go, dad.”

I came back to my room and picked up the phone. As I dialed Kirti’s number I felt glad for two reasons; one, my daughter has grown up and two, I learnt something beautiful from my daughter and I didn’t want to disappoint myself.